Indentify your partner .. he needs a vacation

Posted on April 29, 2008 - Filed Under Funny Liners | Leave a Comment

1) He keeps handcuffing himself by accident.
2) He is starting to develop a crush on one of the transvestite hookers he arrested.
3) He wants to transfer to a K-9 unit because he thinks he’d look good in a collar.
4) He talks to himself. Half of him is the “good cop”, and the other half is […]

101 ways to irritate people

Posted on April 28, 2008 - Filed Under Funny Liners | Leave a Comment

1. Sing the Batman theme incessantly.
2. In the memo field of all your checks, write “for sensual massage.”
3. Specify that your drive-through order is “to go.”
4. Learn Morse code, and have conversations with friends in public consisting entirely of “Beeeep Bip Bip Beeep Bip…”
5. If you have a glass eye, tap on it occasionally with […]

Funny Liners Again

Posted on April 24, 2008 - Filed Under Funny Liners | Leave a Comment

Let’s go to my place and do the things I’ll tell everyone we did
anyway.
A woman asks, “Excuse me, do you have the time?”
You: “Do you have the energy?”
Take an icecube to the bar, smash it and say:
“Now that I’ve broken the ice, will you sleep with me?
You see my friend over there?
[Point to friend who […]

Funny One Liners

Posted on April 20, 2008 - Filed Under Funny Liners | Leave a Comment

Give me ambiguity or give me something else.
Good judgment comes from bad experience and a lot of that comes from bad judgment.
Hard work has a future payoff. Laziness pays off now.
He who laughs last thinks slowest.
Honk if you love peace and quiet.
Honk if you want to see my finger.
How do you tell when you run […]

Phone

Posted on November 26, 2007 - Filed Under Funny Liners | Leave a Comment

My girlfriend phoned me and said.. “Come on over there’s nobody home.” I went over. Nobody was home!

Simple Things

Posted on November 26, 2007 - Filed Under Funny Liners | Leave a Comment

When Susan’s boyfriend proposed marriage to her she said: “I love the simple things in life, but I don’t want one of them for my husband.

keep looking »