Answering Machine Messages
Posted on April 24, 2008 - Filed Under Funny Jokes | Leave a Comment
Here are supposedly actual answering machine announcements.
1. Hi ! John’s answering machine is broken. This is his refrigerator. Please speak very slowly, and I’ll stick your message to myself with one of these magnets.
2. A is for academics, B is for beer. One of those reasons is why we’re not here. So, leave a message.
3. […]
How Men Think
Posted on April 24, 2008 - Filed Under Funny Jokes | Leave a Comment
There is a man who has three girlfriends, but he does not know which one to marry. So he decides to give each one $5000 and see how each of them spends it. The first one goes out and gets a total makeover with the money. She gets new clothes, a new hairdo, manicure, pedicure, […]
Psychological Profile
Posted on April 20, 2008 - Filed Under Funny Jokes | Leave a Comment
The psychology instructor had just finished a lecture on mental health and was giving an oral test.
Speaking specifically about manic depression, she asked, “How would you diagnose a patient who walks back and forth screaming […]
Funny Job Application
Posted on April 20, 2008 - Filed Under Funny Jokes | Leave a Comment
Allegedly this is an actual job application a 17-year-old boy submitted at a McDonald’s fast-food establishment in Florida – and they hired him because he was so honest and funny! The name was changed of course.
NAME: John Smith
SEX: Not yet. Still waiting for the right person.
DESIRED POSITION: Company’s President or Vice President. But seriously, whatever’s […]
Girlfriends
Posted on November 26, 2007 - Filed Under Funny Jokes | Leave a Comment
One day a man was walking along the beach and found a bottle. He looked around and didn’t see anyone so he opened it. A genie appeared and thanked the man for letting him out.
The genie said, “For your kindness I will grant you a wish, but only one.”
The man thought for a minute and […]
Jack & Jill
Posted on November 26, 2007 - Filed Under Funny Jokes | Leave a Comment
Jill: You remind me of the sea.
Jack: Because I’m wild, unpredictable and romantic?
Jill: No, because you make me sick.