Another Wedding Day Speech

Care for your Mother-in-law

A man, his wife and his mother-in-law went on vacation to the Holy Land. While they were there, the mother-in-law passed away.

The undertaker told them, ‘You can have her shipped home for £5000, or you can bury her here in the Holy Land for £150.’

The man thought about it and told him he would just have her shipped home.

The undertaker asked, ‘Why would you spend £5,000 to ship your mother-in-law home, when it would be wonderful to have her buried here and spend only £150?’

The man replied, ‘a man died here 2,000 years ago, was buried here, and three days later he rose from the dead. I just can’t take that chance.’ Read more

Wedding Day Speech

Those wanting to be married

Father Henry was planning a wedding at the close of the morning service. After the benediction Father Henry had planned to call the couple down to be married for a brief ceremony before the congregation. For the life of him, he couldn’t think of the names of those who were to be married.

‘Will those wanting to get married please come to the front?’ Father Henry requested.

Immediately; nine single ladies, three widows, four widowers, and six single men stepped to the front.

Best Man

A groom chose his pet dog as the best man for his wedding reports the Metro. Paul Nock told his new wife Kelly years ago that he wanted Scooby by his side on their big day. The health and safety training organiser, from Hull, said, ‘I was away working in Dubai when the wedding arrangements were made and didn’t think she would let it happen. But when we got into the register office I turned round and there he was walking up the aisle, with the rings tied around his neck.’ The 27-year-old bride added: ‘It was a wonderful surprise.’

Wedding present - kindly sent in by JC.

I would like to thank you all for coming here today to celebrate my daughters wedding. Just for your information the seating arrangement has been specially organised with all of the people that bought large presents being placed towards the front and those that bought cheaper smaller presents at the back. (Pause)

There is a special thanks for uncle fred who is at the back for the oven glove. (Pause)

The bride would like to ask uncle fred if she could have the other glove for their silver wedding anniversary.

Neighbour’s Cows

An old farmer died and left 17 cows to his three sons. In his will, the farmer stated that his oldest son should get ¹/₂, his middle son should get ¹/₃, and his youngest son should get ¹/₉ of all the cows. The sons, who did not want to end up with half cows, sat for days trying to figure out how many cows each of them should get. One day, their neighbour came by to see how they were doing after their father’s death. The three sons told him their problem. After thinking for a while, the neighbour said: “I’ll be right back!” He went away, and when he came back, the three sons could divide the cows according to their father’s will, and in such a way that each of them got a whole number of cows.

What was the neighbour’s solution?

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Possibilities

The number of times the digit 0 appears in this puzzle is _____.
The number of times the digit 1 appears in this puzzle is _____.
The number of times the digit 2 appears in this puzzle is _____.
The number of times the digit 3 appears in this puzzle is _____.
The number of times the digit 4 appears in this puzzle is _____.
The number of times the digit 5 appears in this puzzle is _____.
The number of times the digit 6 appears in this puzzle is _____.
The number of times the digit 7 appears in this puzzle is _____.
The number of times the digit 8 appears in this puzzle is _____.
The number of times the digit 9 appears in this puzzle is _____.

Complete these sentences with digits until they are all true.

Which two solutions are possible?

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Appearing Area

Consider the figures below. Both triangular figures have been built up from the same four parts. The parts with the same color have exactly the same shape and size! They are only moved around, which resulted in an appearing area in the lower figure, marked with a question mark (’?‘).

Where does the ‘?‘ hole come from?

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Rowing Across the river…

Patrick and Eric are on the two opposite banks of a river. They both have a rowing boat. They both start off at the same time towards the opposite bank. They pass each other at 720 meters from the bank where Patrick departed. When reaching the opposite bank, they both take a rest for the same amount of time before they return. On the way back they pass each other at 400 meters from the bank from where Patrick returned.

Patrick and Eric both row with a constant speed, but Eric rows faster.

The Question: How wide is the river?

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